Adore you…

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I adore your flaws
I would never break those laws
I adore you to give it another cause
I adore you when you get sad
I adore your pain in your tears
I adore your scary fears
I adore your word of speech
I adore your heart cause it something I wanna keep
I adore your sentence and it’s wording
I adore you cause a man like me for you is so deserving
I adore your child  her smile her kiss especially her I love you
I adore the way she sleep it’s so cute
I adore your morning breathe
I adore how you give your all until there nothing left
I adore your classy lady attitude
I adore that it’s not rude but yet calm and cool
I adore your gentle smile
I adore how it’s sparkle lined like tile
I adore the way you talk
I adore how you give me that spark
I  adore how you walk It much louder than your bark.
I adore your sense of courage
I adore your mind is like a storage
I adore your hidden Romance
I adore your forgiveness and giving people chances
I adore also your wifey commitment
I adore or relationship that I have to advance it
I adore your friendship
I adore your sexy lips and can’t forget the hips.
I Adore Your  Success
I adore your food it’s the best
I adore your time
I adore your corny jokes and pi k up lines
I adore your beautiful black skin
I adore your soul and my best friend within
I adore your beauty
I adore your face wow such a cutie.
I adore your scent
I adore you so much your heart I will not dent
I adore your dress code
I adore your actions it’s so bold 
I adore your heart it’s never cold
I adore your kiss
I adore you that your too much to miss
I adore your silly ways
I adore your comment and debates
I adore your concerns
I adore your  ambition to learn
I adore your look when you in caps
I adore you cause there’s only one of you on the map
I adore your confidence
I adore your eyes
I adore your organization
I adore your motivation
I adore your attention
I adore you power competition
I adore your curves to serve
I adore your alertness
I adore your flirtness
I adore your mood swings
I adore your shower songs
I adore your loud snoring
I adore your Love making
I adore your body it’s breathe taking
I adore your feet and hands
I adore you cause you gonna marry this man…….

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Old me vs Devine

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Where should I begin
At times I wasn’t my own friend
I use to cry  cause I was sad
I use lie cause I was mad
But in most conversation I was
Totally mad at my dad cause of the stuff he said and did
but in reality I didnt realize I was grown not a kid
I was in my own world and train of thought
cause of the stress people brought
But growing up as a boy a man was something I was never taught
Only that lying was a greatful flaw.
But holding my tongue and squeezing my jaws.
Work in long hours  to skip lunch and dinner
Just to by pass fights and night and hurt feelings
And everybody feeling so up tight.
I was screaming for help for a while
Even after all three of kids
Year by year would pass
I would cry and think of solutions
But all the time my mind was clear but polluted
Thinking of ways to get rid of high bills
And working hard but stress and lifting heavy things my body it kills
But never told anyone how I feel
I dodged going back to school
Cause I was afraid of who wouldn’t think I was cool
Never broke laws but was breaking all  the rules.
Never did I have to push to go further than the front door
I was ok but to some i lived poor
But I had to close that door…..
Now I’m Devine
Smiling all the time
Heart is ready for love
Let everything go and start living
And felt happy about believing in myself
It feels good to go back to school
Learn more knowledge so people stop taking me as a fool
Tell where would I be without God
I’m comfortable with me and who I am
Not embarrass but can embrace life by it meaning
My heart is light just needed a little cleaning
Have real friends not the ones that was draining me
Lord you heard me in the mist of the river I was drowning
But you grab me and your wing surrounded me with protection
Now I’m learning how to think so it will not be any more more corrections
But yet let it be life and all Its projections
You gave me a new path
A new love over kindness and gifts
I can now walk away smiling from that cliff
Enjoying my new ways and leave behind that  dark cave
My life God u did save
I give you all the praise………

A conversation

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In life we meet people and never realized why but in most cases we think we know everything in life just cause of what we been threw. But maybe because in our minds were still in that controlling abusive relationship but in reality were not. So we tend to push people away that’s actually trying to love you the way you wanna be loved accepting kids and our flaws and past mistakes. We rather run than listen to the truth and understand what the truth is. We may react differently as men. But in some ways people who been threw alot tend to draw this picture of how there next companion should be but in reality your painting the picture but your still in the past where you don’t wanna be. Look at it this way can you drive in the review mirror..”no you cant”” if so you will keep getting into an accident. So people don’t realize it but we won’t something new but when we get it we still hold on to something bad which draws a line right between them. Some say they want this but can’t handle what God give them. Meaning the way a person talk does not define signs of abusive behavior does. Maybe your body moved on but your mind is still behind. I have this saying that my uncle told me “”A man move forward not backwards””  maybe some don’t get that but you should apply it to your life. When a person accepts everything about you and your kids and flaws and facts and everything maybe you should think about what made you feel that way instead of worrying about the way they say their words. You can’t take a suit and tie man and make him out of a blue collar man. Then you may not like the change.  You can’t fall in love with someone you trying to change because it’s them your falling in love with its your image of who you wanna be with.. Maybe we all need a reality check but in some cause it already happen you just have to realize it. I’m an imperfect person but I do take a woman for who she is not what I want her to be. I may run from stress or comfortation but I always confront it first then move on from the devil of it. The devil love breaking up marriages or this before it get to that point but as long as you allow him to he will. I love everyone especially if you was 309 pounds God don’t judge us then why should we judge ourselves. God took the sin that we had a bleed for us and he didn’t ask us to change he took the blame for everything maybe you have a person who has a heart like God and take all the blame just to see you happy. Even the person is trying to earn your trust by being honest doesn’t mean you should break your trust with them. In most cases people look at honest as being a way to find more things out to just walk away rather than to stay. Make sure you think then speak cause you might find yourself the weakest link in your own words. You can’t draw a picture then erase it later cause you don’t like it later on cause the original is always better. Their are reason people come into your life but women know within 30 seconds if he’s a keeper and men know with the first minute if she’s a wife or just something passing threw. When somebody is telling you something don’t just hear the bad in it cause you could be missing your blessing in life. Somebody once told me they have their place , money and career together so I need  you to get it together. This is my reply to that I’m together mentally and spiritually I can’t take money a career with me but where I’m going God have a place for me so yes I’m together. Money don’t make me God make me together my mind is not spreaded.  It’s calm and real. Money wise I’m thankful for  a career in my business.  I Love how people take words and change them around and say the oddest things but those are the people we fall in love with cause that’s who they are. Especially for those people that say I want a person to be there for me but when they come along you push them away. They say people are afraid of success but in reality we are afraid of progress of improving our thought process cause of how the world is.   I don’t hate anyone I just wish for once we could just not follow the negative side of life.

Past to Present

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I use to lie about simple things
Even about how I felt about my feelings
Especially about debt and bills
I Took and carried alot of pain around
But never knew when to place it down
Always said ok and never said a sound
But I knew stuff was wrong but never would I break
Even when the stress would rise
See I started life young and it was hard
Seeing my uncle in jail from drugs to stealing
So I embraced my feelings
The way favoritism played a role in my family
The way my little brother got punished
All for just being a little kid
Somehow I wondered how could I take this pain
Soon found out it was just the beginning of my pain
The words of negativity that was taught to me threw action
The abuse verbally physically and mentally
Was mind controlling love holding  but mind scolding
Nothing was showed to me as a child to be a man
Learned everything with hands on training
I felt like I was my own fan
Insecure,independent, mentally unstable
But alone scared  and crying for help
But alone with the pain can family and friends death
With life as a teenager became disgusted
Trying to fit in and felt that no one could be trusted
The embarrassment of giving love but receiving it
The tears fears with no care started to make me sick
So I reached out to writing which was exciting
But with words to write I still was hiding
From that lost boy at 12 Years old and very cold
Sometime I didn’t need a I love you just someone to easy the load
Never got that prom date wow she was beautiful
But that was my stupidity and my own mistake
The way I would look at her and ask why me
She was a great friend that I did wrong
Great attention of a black female but she was real
I learn to let negative stuff go and move on
So now the past is gone
I’ve had a long  long long ride
But new things always appear In view
But making new decisions will bring a new you
New careers and people coming into your life
New romances and new night dances
New perfumes and body lotions
New dress codes and  a new love flow
New attitudes and new chances
New directions and no more corrections
New faces more better situations
New cases and better food tasting
New ways how to believe and new goals to achieve
New dates and new wedding plates
New kiss a new touch a new crush
A new time  for a harder grind
New smiles and better crowds
New mind set and better sex
New ways and better days
New organizations and better communication
New motivation and a true dedication.
A new fan for a better man.